Whether or not they are real, shadows are a force to be reckoned with! I don’t often consciously think of shadows, let alone dwell on their impact. However, two confluent experiences with shadows in April, 2024, illuminated their importance.
The first experience came in the form of our adorable 20 lb. “grand-puppy”, Dash – an energetic two-year-old Cockapoo – who stayed with us for 10 days while our son and his family were traveling. Dash is a ferocious window warrior! However, he will immediately cower behind “his” safest familiar adult once anyone who is not immediate family comes through the door. As soon as Dash was dropped off at our house, I quickly became his “safest familiar adult” and he instantly became my shadow.
Apart from noting whether Dash was in front of or behind me and allowing enough space when I moved to accommodate his presence, having a shadow might not have been a problem. But, our house is also home to two set-in-their-ways felines who are quite comfortable moving in and out of their humans’ space while blithely ignoring wherever our shadows might fall. That changed with Dash’s arrival. The four-leggeds in our house were pet-rified of each other!
Caring for the felines was no longer business as usual. As I approached them, so did my shadow. Both my shadow and my cats felt threatened by the presence of the other. In order to tend to everyone’s needs and fears, I had to be aware of myself, my shadow, and our felines – and give everyone a wide berth. My presence alone wasn’t enough to keep the peace. Despite having my hand on Dash as we were sitting together, I didn’t have enough of a grasp on him or his nervous system to prevent him from lunging at our Torti who had bravely ventured to the edge of the room. As I learned more about my shadow, I was better able to navigate our space in a way that was attentive to and respective of everyone’s idiosyncrasies. Our Torti needed more time, however by the end of Dash’s visit, our less courageous Tabby and he were actually able to be in the same room together.
The second experience with shadows came during the midst of these adventures, when we experienced a 99% solar eclipse in our area. The pets had no interest in going outside and seemed unnerved by the darkness. I noticed my own unease. It was dark – dark as dusk. But the colors were too crisp; the contrast too sharp; and shadows were all wrong!! On some level, my body and psyche take in and depend on the interplay of light and shadow. The subtle sensory interplay of light and shadow inform circadian biorhythms and hormone production/ balance, it also cautions my autonomic nervous system about how, where, and which sensory input to notice, which in turn influences relationships and how I experience the world (and perhaps even how the world experiences me!). I ignore my shadow(s) at my own peril.
By befriending my shadow(s) and better understanding the “stuff” that might be hiding there, I can be better present to all that is (rather than all that was or all that might be). Reflecting on shadows may indeed be essential to well-being.