What does it mean to be real – really real? According to the Skin Horse in The Velveteen Rabbit,
“When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real.” [1]
Perhaps this 1922 children’s novel by Margery Williams contains wisdom for today. After all, the Velveteen Rabbit was feeling pretty forgotten and insignificant in comparison to the fancy animated toys that were getting all of the attention. How many of us, like the Velveteen Rabbit, long to be real?! We long to feel that we are uniquely valued and that we somehow matter in the grand scheme of things.
But when we are awash in a stress-inducing counterfeit reality, it can be hard to know what’s real. We may begin to believe the dystopian notion that we really might be the useless eaters responsible for the imminent destruction of the planet. Instantaneous 24/7/365.25 messaging – via platforms that know more about how to use us than we know about using them! – can turn us into isolated data points to be gamed towards whatever ends. Screens and cyberspace appear to have replaced the public square as a venue for sharing (or selling) products and ideas. For many, social media “influencers” may have become the measuring stick for values and personal self-worth. Online connections seem to have edged out many of the in-person relationships and activities we once had.
Reality substitutes have been encroaching on what’s normal for a long time – often in the name of convenience, productivity, and progress. Good things, like lights and central heating, can distance us from the rhythms of the days and seasons. Religious observances and life-cycle traditions that once helped us connect with our own circadian rhythms and seasons of life have often been dismissed as superstitious nonsense. With remote work becoming more and more the norm, sitting has been called the “new smoking”. Packaged, highly processed convenience foods may tease palates and suit rushed life-styles, but can leave us hungering for connection with living foods and environments that genuinely nourish us. Protective measures of isolation and distancing have left in their wake epidemics of loneliness, superficiality, addictions, and loss. Our minds are overwhelmed; our bodies are stressed — we’re exhausted! Our senses are so dulled that is hard to connect with the reality and wonder of our own essence, let alone connect with the real, living world around us.
Being really loved – being genuinely seen and valued for who we uniquely are – may indeed be the nursery magic that makes us real. But can we possibly know such love? Perhaps calming our bodies and using our physical senses is one place to begin to get in touch:
“Our bodies are extraordinarily sensitive instruments that respond to inner and outer environments with remarkable accuracy when they are not cluttered with the static of mental and emotional confusion.” ~ John J. Prendergast, PhD [2]
As living/ loving beings, the more we connect with the living world around us the more we can connect with the Loving Reality that enlivens and sustains us. Noticing what each of our senses is telling us begins an embodied awareness that can help us be fully present to what is. Aligning mind, body, and heart awareness can help us discern the Love that infuses all of life – and can make us Real.
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[1] Margery Williams, The Velveteen Rabbit or How Toys Become Real, (Garden City, NY: Doran & Company, Inc., 1922), http://digital.library.upenn.edu/women/williams/rabbit/rabbit.html
[2] John Prendergast, PhD, in touch: How to Tune In to the Inner Guidance of Your Body and Trust Yourself, (Boulder, CO: Sounds True, 2015), p. 30.