(Written in September, 2019, this is an exploration of the mind/ body experience of change. It was prompted by my own shift – “retirement” – from the practice of medicine to refocus my energies on completing my work in Spiritual Care and Psychotherapy.)
Transitions are inevitable. Change is a constant in life. Ready or not, whether we feel like it is something that we do or something that is done to us, shifts happen. Whether we perceive of these changes as good or bad, our bodies register these as stress – our bodies recognize that things are different and “go on alert,” intent on keeping us safe. Some transitions are expected, obvious, and gradual enough that for the most part we welcome them take them in stride.
Other changes can be dramatic, traumatic, intense, and/ or so unexpected as to leave us reeling. Denial, shock, or even capitulation can be temporizing and life-saving. Ongoing numbness, however, can be deadening. Fear and pain alert us and mobilize (or immobilize) us, again in the service of preservation. Anger, sadness, grief, and compassion are important in clarifying and informing our responses. But, (spoiler alert) bitterness, resentment, regret, and smoldering rage are life-zapping energy drains that, at best, serve to distract us from what is important. Any of these emotions can be present — even if changes in our lives are minor and/ or planned.
In the largest prospective study on aging, Dr. George Vialliant (2002) found that Sad-Sick people were more disabled and died earlier than those who were Healthy [and] Well at age 80. Adaptive coping styles, ability to adjust to the vagaries of life, hope, joy, and continued involvement with life seemed to account for the differences between the two groups.
Fascinated by the mind, the human penchant for existential questions and mystical experiences, Dr. Andrew Newberg (2009) looked at MRI studies of experienced meditators and did broader research on what accompanies healthy brain functioning. He was surprised that meditation (prayer is a subset) only came in fourth. Physical exercise was third in importance. Most important was having faith – in what some called God and others described as the goodness in life and a bigger picture. Second in importance was engaging in deep dialogue with others. Yawning, consciously relaxing, continued learning, and smiling rounded out the top eight!
My take: Hope, joy, faith, deep dialogue with others, flexibility, and an ongoing involvement with life are qualities that can be cultivated to enhance all of life, not only the transitions. As I reflect on the numerous emerging changes in my life, I see how many of these practices are present and guiding my next steps.
So, for all of us on life’s journeys: May we be awake to and engaged in the present; May we be appreciative of the goodness and the lessons of the past; and May we be lovingly open to our part in the unfolding future.